27.7.10

Baby Name Statistics, Part 3

The power of a name should not be underestimated. It is closely related to both an individual's self-image and the image that others have of the individual. It is also something that can be completely controlled by parents-to-be, and it is something that is the subject of research that is limited in quantity but substantial in impact. So--what kind of a name should you give your child?

Bagley & Evan-Wong (1970) collate several studies that demonstrate a higher risk of "psychiatric disturbance" and psychosis in populations of uniquely-named individuals than commonly-named individuals. Twenge and Manis (1998) add that adult males were more likely to have these problems than females.

Mehrabian (1992) shows that unique names are rated as less desirable among peers. He further shows that desirable names are associated with perceived pleasant and dominant emotional temperaments (which "increase popularity and attractiveness to others"), and that pleasant temperament in individuals is associated with perceived pleasant temperament in names. In effect, people have an internalized positive image of names like "Elizabeth," "Michael," et cetera--and the name projects its positive qualities onto the person who bears it.

This does not only encompass the other; people who like their names have a much better positive image of themselves: more self-esteem, life satisfaction, better mood, more time spent happy, and less time spent unhappy (Twenge & Manis, 1998). Twenge and Manis go on to conclude that "given names may indeed play a part in personal adjustment, with undesirable names exacting a price on an individual's well-being" (1998).

Busse & Seraydarian (1979) show that children with unpopular names are less popular among their peers. Conversely, elementary school girls' popularity "is significantly related to the desirability of their first names". There is also a slight effect on the popularity of boys with girls (Busse & Seraydarian, 1979).

Along those lines, Garwood, Cox, Kaplan, Wasserman & Sulzer (1980) showed a significant effect on perceived attractiveness of college-aged females by college students. Pictures of females were selected and rank-ordered on attractiveness by college students in order to select a set of equivalently attractive females. Three desirable names and three undesirable names were selected from a list of names obtained from the same population of students and then arbitrarily assigned to the six pictures; the "desirable" (Kathy, Jennifer, and Christine) names unambiguously and resoundingly wiped the floor with the "undesirable" (Ethel, Harriet, and Gertrude) names.

In another paper (Hassebrauck, 1988), pictures of females of varying levels of attractiveness were assigned desirable, neutral, or undesirable names, with a similar selection and rating methodology to the previous paper. An experimental group and a control group rated pictures of the females; an ANOVA showed there were not any significant effects on either perceived attractiveness or social desirability due to the desirability of the name.

Physical attractiveness, however, did have significant effects for most of the ratings. Hassebrauck concludes that first names would only have a significant effect when a picture or visual information about the person is unavailable--which I will address in Part 4.

Busse & Seraydarian (1978) further show that children with names rated as undesirable by other children had demonstrably lower performance on various readiness, IQ, and achievement tests. Significant effects in girls were still observed after accounting for effects due to parental education and ethnicity/race. The same effects in girls were observed after adjusting the sample for name frequency rather than desirability.

(to be continued in Part 4)

WORKS CITED

Bagley, C., & Evan-Wong, L. (1970). Psychiatric disorder and adult and peer group rejection of the child's name. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 11, 19-27.

Busse, T., & Seraydarian, L. (1978). The Relationships between first name desirability and school readiness, iq, and school achievement. Psychology in the Schools, 15(2), 297-302.

Busse, T., & Seraydarian, L. (1979). First names and popularity in grade school children. Psychology in the Schools, 16(1), 149-153.

Garwood, S., Cox, L., Kaplan, V., Wasserman, N., & Sulzer, J. (1980). Beauty is only "name" deep: the effect of first-name on ratings of physical attraction. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 10(5), 431-435.

Hassebrauck, M. (1988). Beauty is more than "name" deep: the effect of women's first names on ratings of physical attractiveness and personality attributes. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 18(9), 721-726.

Mehrabian, A. (1992). Interrelationships among name desirability, name uniqueness, emotion characteristics connoted by names, and temperament. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 22(23), 1797-1808.

Twenge, J., & Manis, M. (1998). First-name desirability and adjustment: self-satisfaction, others' ratings, and family background. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 28(1), 41-51.

25.6.10

Baby Name Statistics, Part 2

Examples of "invented" names that have had some success recently are the set of names ending in the -aden sound, 9 of which rocketed out of obscurity and rank ranging from 7 to 103 for 2009. I hate all of them, but their success is admirable (at least at the present). It remains to be seen whether they have any staying power--I suspect they do not. My opinion is probably a function of the names I grew up with, as anyone's would be; I'm sure the seven Jadens and fourteen variants on Aiden in your local high school's graduating class of 2028 are going to think names like Stacy and Kristen and Amanda sound horrendously dated.

This discussion brings us to the meat of the project: it's easy to guess what the "best" names might be, but what about the worst? For your ridicule, I present the ten worst names in the history of Social Security for boys and girls, presented in reverse order:

Boys

  1. Ronal Ronal? What?

  2. Ricci What if little Ricci grew up to marry a fine woman named Christina?

  3. Tyreke Similar names that are more popular than Tyreke: Tyreek, Tyrik, Tyriq, Tyrique

  4. Knox Yeah, like the fort. A born security guard.

  5. Archer Names that describe what you do are last names, guys. Still, this one has that gonzo journalism charm that you just can't put a price on.

  6. Destry I assume this has to do with the Jimmy Stewart film. Either that, or the Southern version of noted arms dealer James McCullen Destro XXIV.

  7. Kunta For reference, Toby is 2171 spots above Kunta. Guess the nice white man really was looking out for him.

  8. Alexande It's pronounced Alexan-duh. Although it might be a German-style combination of Alex and Andy.

  9. Jemal It's like Jamal, with an "e". It's interesting that an innocuous letter transposition is so unpopular.

  10. Christop What were they going for? Christopher? Christoph? It's almost like they were using a computer system that had an 8-character input limit. I can imagine people constantly harassing this guy at work by ending sentences prematurely. "Hey Christop, would you deliver these reports to"



Girls

  1. Sheilah You know, other than the egregious extra letter, this one isn't that objectionable.

  2. Clarisa How could anyone who grew up when Clarissa Explains It All dislike Clarisa? Well, you see, it looks dumb without the doubled "s".

  3. Sonji Sewn-gee? Sahn-gee? Or perhaps it's pronounced "Sonya".

  4. Channing I knew somebody named Channing who was a girl. Of course, the worst Channing is a dude (fuck you, Channing Tatum).

  5. Halley This one has the added benefit of referencing a long period comet. Loser astronomers.

  6. Norita Hell yes. It's so close that I can forgive the N instead of the M. Wax on; wax off.

  7. Vivienne This is pretentious as hell. "Vivian?" "UGH. NO."

  8. Elizabet Why would someone in the hospital let you do this? I think it's pretty amazing that removing the "h" drops this down 3056 spaces on the all-time list.

  9. Yulissa ...what is this? It's like they started with Julia, then went with the Ukrainian form, then combined it with Melissa. Wait, maybe that's the joke: ME-lissa -> YU-lissa.

  10. Analia Ah, named for the mythical land of



So there you have it. I caution you that the power rating tends to cluster the names that only appear on one annual list at the very bottom of the rankings due to dividing by a very small fraction. My personal favorites that were left out:

Girls

  1. Bethzy Reading this out loud causes me to chuckle uncontrollably. "HI IM BETHZY :D"

  2. Yamilex Probably some Nahuatl derivation. Reads like American English for "a moderate-strength prescription drug for genital herpes".

  3. Romaine "Oh, she's beautiful. She looks just like that salad I had yesterday! I know what we'll name her"

  4. Dimple The only justification for this is that you named her on the spot right after birth, and after the first thing you saw. Also, you're a fucking idiot

  5. Gaylene "Gaylene Stevenson?" "Here." "Do you go by Gaylene, or is there a nickname you prefer?"

  6. Concepcion Possibly the most literal meaning for a name.

  7. Betsey "IM BETSEY IM BETHZY'S FRIEND XD"

  8. Tea Well, at least no one will be offended.

  9. Walter They must be counting Wendy Carlos.

  10. Alpha She was the firstborn. The next two were Junior and Trey.



Boys

  1. Kinte Man, come on.

  2. Westin If he's fat they can call him "The Westin Grand"

  3. Amin "You know who was awesome? Idi Amin."

  4. Marilyn Why would somebody do this?

  5. Hung I think that's kind of an unfair burden to put on your kid.

  6. Benjiman The superhero with the power to get beat up

  7. Clearence Oh, the difference one letter makes.

  8. Babyboy Concepcion? I stand corrected.

  9. Cain Not exactly the most popular biblical name. Surely you could pick someone a little better than the guy who invented murder?

  10. Infant Fuck you, America



God damn, some people are stupid.

Baby Name Statistics, Part 1

My other blog, JRI, deals with a very serious application of statistics: football. Because I love stats so much, I will occasionally do some goofy-ass project in my personal time, and this is one of those. It is an area that is much less serious than football: naming your children. I resolved to analyze the Social Security Administration's annually updated database of most popular baby names.

Registration for Social Security numbers became compulsory in 1937, which means that every individual born in the United States since then has had their name preserved on the rolls of SSA. From a statistical standpoint, the data available to me is not so much a sample as it is literally the entire population of data points.

I took the largest sample size (the top 1000 names for each year for each sex) compiled the samples into a spreadsheet, and calculated descriptive statistics for each name in the 2009 list--mean, mode, median, standard deviation. These were measures across the entire period 1937-2009. Not satisfied with that, I then obtained the complete set of unique names that appeared in the top 1000 over that same period and calculated the same descriptive statistics.

Finally, I devised a power statistic that is intended to measure popularity and consistency:



Mu and sigma are used in their standard sense to represent mean and standard deviation, alpha and beta are arbitrary weights (in this case 0.5 and 0.5), and rho is the percentage of the total lists that the name is present on.

I present the top ten names for boys and girls that are least likely to sound stupid as hell in 10 years, or alternatively, least likely to get your kid made fun of:

Girls

  1. Elizabeth

  2. Mary

  3. Katherine

  4. Rebecca

  5. Maria

  6. Sarah

  7. Anna

  8. Catherine

  9. Jacqueline

  10. Laura



Boys

  1. Michael

  2. David

  3. James

  4. John

  5. Joseph

  6. William

  7. Daniel

  8. Robert

  9. Thomas

  10. Anthony



It is interesting to note that 7 of the boy names are biblical; Anthony is Roman; and William (Germanic) and Robert (French transliteration of a Germanic name) date back to the Norman conquest of England.

Likewise, Elizabeth, Mary, Sarah, and Rebecca are biblical; Anna is the Latin form of Hannah, a biblical name; Maria is both the Latin form of Mary and the feminine form of Marius (a Roman name); Laura is the feminine form of the Latin laurus; Katherine/Catherine is the name of one of the first Christian saints; and Jacqueline is the feminine form of Jacques, which derives from Jacob...a biblical name.

I can conjecture that new names have some difficulty displacing the traditional biblical names, and that they also have trouble gaining a similar level of vast acceptance. It is also important to note that biblical names largely dominated the popularity rankings for the first several decades of the lists, with Michael, James, and Mary in particular sitting atop the list for years at a time. Many of the other names spent decades near the top of the list; James and Joseph spent one year between them out of the top 20.

21.5.10

13-Letter Words For A Marriage Proposal, Part 2

How does it work?

  We dig up rocks.

Rocks...valuable?

  Restricted supply...

Yes--inflated prices!

  It's plain as day.

And synthetics?

  They're not "real."

Is there danger?

  It's no obstacle.

...Use cheap labor.

  Slave labor, even.

What if they die?

  Wealth is power. Only takes a bit.


DOUBLE BONUS

African War Gem: A Story Of Death

A blood diamond?!

  Conflict stone.

Hecka sucks, bro.

23.3.10

Horatio Caine Joins Al And John In The Booth, Part 2

JOHN: Usually Peyton Manning gets rid of the ball quick enough that he doesn't get sacked. But the Steelers cover everybody long enough for James Farrior to break off his block and Manning just hits the turf. He sees him come unblocked and he just gets down.

AL: Right. Fourth down and a long 16 now. This is the Colts' last chance. Manning from under center with three receivers split wide. He gets the snap. Five man rush from the Steelers and he gets sacked again by Farrior and Porter! The Colts turn the ball over on downs inside their own five yard line.

JOHN: This is just a great play design by Dick LeBeau. The two linebackers line up at the B and C gaps, and then stunt the left tackle. Clark doesn't block anybody because he's running a pattern, and Von Oelhoffen gives the left tackle a little punch there before going after the guard, and Porter's just able to run past him for the sack. The Colts needed to keep another man at the line there.

HORATIO: It doesn't matter who's manning the line. In the end...you're gonna get beat by the blitz.

22.3.10

Horatio Caine Joins John And Al In The Booth, Part 1

AL: Second and ten. Giants have two receivers to the right. Collins from the shotgun. Seattle blitzes everybody at the line; Collins barely gets the pass off, and completes it to a wide open Tiki Barber running down the sidelines. He's forced out after a 26 yard gain--Reggie Tongue with the tackle.

JOHN: Yeah, and if you see what's going on here, you've got six seven eight guys at the line of scrimmage, and the Seahawks bring everybody. But that leaves three guys to cover all of the Giants receivers. Reggie Tongue, the safety, has to move over toward the sideline to cover the guy the corner leaves uncovered, and Tiki Barber is wide open coming out of the backfield. That's just a great read by Kerry Collins. You find the wide open guy on the blitz and you're going to put some points up on the scoreboard eventually.

HORATIO: Looks like this Tongue bit off more...than he could chew.

20.3.10

A Hierarchical Structure of Rules for Assessing Cinematic Quality, Part 1

Von Sydow-Prochnow Conjecture: Any film which contains both Max Von Sydow and Jurgen Prochnow must be awesome.

Isolation Condition Corollary: Any film which contains only Jurgen Prochnow must be terrible.

Foreign Language Corollary: The Isolation Condition Corollary does not apply when the film in question does not have primarily English dialogue.

Street Fighter Conjecture: Any film which seems to be potentially terrible but has one big-name actor will only be worthwhile while that actor is onscreen.

Bela Lugosi Corollary: If the actor dies during filming, the recorded performance will be terrible.

Raul Julia Corollary: If the actor dies after filming is completed, the performance will be exquisite but overshadowed by the rest of the film, which will be terrible.

13.2.10

13-Letter Words For A Marriage Proposal

  • He went to Jared!
  • No, not Jared. Kay.
  • He went to Zales!
  • The Prenuptial
  • A Fun Betrothal
  • I love marriage.
  • I hate weddings.
  • I like minivans.
  • Cubic zirconia!
  • ...I guess you'll do.
  • You're pregnant?

28.1.10

Protips for Home Living

If you live in a house, and your turbine roof ventilator gets some ice on it, an indistinct pulsing sound will result. It is far louder than you think it should be; but do not be alarmed, and instead take comfort in the transience of all things. As ice melts, so too does sound vanish in the indistinct soup of elementary subatomic particles that is the ultimate fate of the universe.