Horatio Caine Joins Al And John In The Booth, Part 2

JOHN: Usually Peyton Manning gets rid of the ball quick enough that he doesn't get sacked. But the Steelers cover everybody long enough for James Farrior to break off his block and Manning just hits the turf. He sees him come unblocked and he just gets down.

AL: Right. Fourth down and a long 16 now. This is the Colts' last chance. Manning from under center with three receivers split wide. He gets the snap. Five man rush from the Steelers and he gets sacked again by Farrior and Porter! The Colts turn the ball over on downs inside their own five yard line.

JOHN: This is just a great play design by Dick LeBeau. The two linebackers line up at the B and C gaps, and then stunt the left tackle. Clark doesn't block anybody because he's running a pattern, and Von Oelhoffen gives the left tackle a little punch there before going after the guard, and Porter's just able to run past him for the sack. The Colts needed to keep another man at the line there.

HORATIO: It doesn't matter who's manning the line. In the end...you're gonna get beat by the blitz.

Horatio Caine Joins John And Al In The Booth, Part 1

AL: Second and ten. Giants have two receivers to the right. Collins from the shotgun. Seattle blitzes everybody at the line; Collins barely gets the pass off, and completes it to a wide open Tiki Barber running down the sidelines. He's forced out after a 26 yard gain--Reggie Tongue with the tackle.

JOHN: Yeah, and if you see what's going on here, you've got six seven eight guys at the line of scrimmage, and the Seahawks bring everybody. But that leaves three guys to cover all of the Giants receivers. Reggie Tongue, the safety, has to move over toward the sideline to cover the guy the corner leaves uncovered, and Tiki Barber is wide open coming out of the backfield. That's just a great read by Kerry Collins. You find the wide open guy on the blitz and you're going to put some points up on the scoreboard eventually.

HORATIO: Looks like this Tongue bit off more...than he could chew.

A Hierarchical Structure of Rules for Assessing Cinematic Quality, Part 1

Von Sydow-Prochnow Conjecture: Any film which contains both Max Von Sydow and Jurgen Prochnow must be awesome.

Isolation Condition Corollary: Any film which contains only Jurgen Prochnow must be terrible.

Foreign Language Corollary: The Isolation Condition Corollary does not apply when the film in question does not have primarily English dialogue.

Street Fighter Conjecture: Any film which seems to be potentially terrible but has one big-name actor will only be worthwhile while that actor is onscreen.

Bela Lugosi Corollary: If the actor dies during filming, the recorded performance will be terrible.

Raul Julia Corollary: If the actor dies after filming is completed, the performance will be exquisite but overshadowed by the rest of the film, which will be terrible.